Successfully Navigating Social Situations

Our focus this week will be Social Anxiety (& how to successfully navigate social situations). According to Thomas A. Richards, Ph.D. the Director of the Social Anxiety Institute, "Social anxiety is the fear of social situations and the interaction with other people that can automatically bring on feelings of self-consciousness, judgment, evaluation, and inferiority." https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/

Social anxiety is much more common than previously thought, social anxiety (used to be known as social phobia) is the third largest mental health care concern in the Unites States. Social anxiety can be overcome, just entails some persistence and consistency and we will go over some useful ways in which this can be accomplished.

You can start with the small things - say hello to whom you make eye contact with during the day, ask people for the time (more than once in a day), say thank you and please every time possible to those around you. By honing in on etiquette, it can be used as a tool to overcome social anxiety by starting small, and by use and practice, your social skills will improve. 

Add a social task per week on your to do list - hang out with a small group of friends or even just a couple of friends somewhere outside of the home, talk to your siblings, interact with coworkers outside of just what is necessary to get the work done. Try and add some social interaction each week. Join a group - it can be a support group, a book club, a sport - building in that social structure into your weekly/daily/monthly life can be a great way to overcome social anxiety. 

Be up to speed on current events, read about current events, having something to talk about can be a great asset in navigating social situations successfully, even with those you may not be close with like family and friends. Knowing what is happening in the world will help you keep a hold on the conversation without feeling out of place. 

Dressing in a way which makes you feel good will also help in interacting in social situations. Once you feel good about yourself, even in outward appearance- can give a boost of confidence and may ease a social situation. 

Make social interactions a priority on your to do list, make sure its at the top and it gets done. The more you do it, the more practice you get, the better you will become at it and the easier it will be. More is better in this instance. The more you practice, the more results you will yield which will become more incentive to continue improving social skills.

Goal Setting

Today we will be focusing on goal setting. Many of us feel as though we are drifting through the world and often times, this feeling arises from not having thoroughly thought about what we want. In order to set a destination, first, we need to think about where we want to go and of course how we wish to get to the destination. By setting goals we can achieve what we want in life, to a small daily task all the way to what we want our lives to look like 5 years to 10 years down the road, whether its related to career, family, health, leisure, creative, etc. Below we have provided 5 ways of how to begin setting goals. 

1) Set goals that motivate and are few in number: by sharpening the focus on a few goals that motivate one can help greatly in achieving them. If one is not motivated by the goal, or the goal does not fit in the bigger picture then it may become irrelevant and therefore possibly could cause one to lose motivation. To make sure that the goal is motivating, write down the why for the goal. 

2) Make the goals "SMART": using the SMART mnemonic is a very useful way of tailoring the goals to what one desires to achieve. There are a few variants on SMART, in addition to the standard listed on the photograph, the following alternative may apply to SMART as well: 

• S - Significant
• M - Meaningful
• A - Action-Oriented
• R - Rewarding
• T - Track-able

3) Write down the goals: cannot be stated enough, write down the goals! There is power in writing down intentions and simply seeing it outside of one's mind. The physical act of writing down goals also makes them more tangible and realistic. One other aspect to focus on as one writes theses goals down is to write them positively. Writing them positively will make them that much more motivating.

4) Create an action plan: now that the goals are set and have been written down, one can create an action plan; a very important step which is often overlooked but is essential. After writing each step in the action plan and crossing it off as it is completed, one will see physical evidence of progress which is not only motivating but wonderful for self esteem as one sees accomplishments being achieved and progress being made towards the goal(s). 

5) Review goals frequently: once the goals are written down and one has a vision of what they may manifest as, review them. Review them frequently as this will aid in keeping on track and making the goals a reality. In addition, reviewing the goals will help in creating further action plans to achieve the goals. One can choose how frequently to review them, reviewing them can also help in guiding daily, weekly and/or monthly tasks. 

Making goal setting a regular practice can make one feel motivated, in charge, and even happier. Making progress towards goals can lead to a more happy and satisfied short term and long term life. Attaining the goals can have vast positive consequences in one's life.