Postpartum

Having a baby is a life changing experience no matter what. The emotions felt by the family can go from joy to anxiety to fear all in a small amount of time. It is a roller coaster of hormones and little sleep. It is no surprise that many moms feel overwhelmed and experience "baby-blues." However, some mothers may feel a longer lasting, more intense depression, known as PPD or postpartum depression. This condition is much more common than you may think: according to the Mayo Clinic, more than 3 million US cases per year.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, the following are the symptoms associated with Postpartum Depression:

• Feeling sad, hopeless, empty, or overwhelmed
• Crying more often than usual or for no apparent reason
• Worrying or feeling overly anxious
• Feeling moody, irritable, or restless
• Oversleeping, or being unable to sleep even when her baby is asleep
• Having trouble concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
• Experiencing anger or rage
• Losing interest in activities that are usually enjoyable
• Suffering from physical aches and pains, including frequent headaches, stomach problems, and muscle pain
• Eating too little or too much
• Withdrawing from or avoiding friends and family
• Having trouble bonding or forming an emotional attachment with her baby
• Persistently doubting her ability to care for her baby
• Thinking about harming herself or her baby.

The following article, written by our own contributor Joanna Cortes Agnello goes into further details: Recognizing the signs of Postpartum Depression.  

According to research, counseling/psychotherapy should be the first line of treatment for Postpartum Depression. The American Psychological Association also recommends counseling as the initial treatment method for PPD - Treating Postpartum Depression.

The following are a few mental health tips for mothers of toddlers (these same tips can be applied to mothers of newborns!) provided by our very own Joanna Cortes Agnello - 7 mental health tips for moms of toddlers. 

Remember, you are not alone, reach out as soon as you need help, and happy parenting!  

Lastly, we leave you with a message of how you can bring more joy into your life with laughter! Knock, Knock... Who's There? It's me, Happiness!

Successfully Navigating Social Situations

Our focus this week will be Social Anxiety (& how to successfully navigate social situations). According to Thomas A. Richards, Ph.D. the Director of the Social Anxiety Institute, "Social anxiety is the fear of social situations and the interaction with other people that can automatically bring on feelings of self-consciousness, judgment, evaluation, and inferiority." https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/

Social anxiety is much more common than previously thought, social anxiety (used to be known as social phobia) is the third largest mental health care concern in the Unites States. Social anxiety can be overcome, just entails some persistence and consistency and we will go over some useful ways in which this can be accomplished.

You can start with the small things - say hello to whom you make eye contact with during the day, ask people for the time (more than once in a day), say thank you and please every time possible to those around you. By honing in on etiquette, it can be used as a tool to overcome social anxiety by starting small, and by use and practice, your social skills will improve. 

Add a social task per week on your to do list - hang out with a small group of friends or even just a couple of friends somewhere outside of the home, talk to your siblings, interact with coworkers outside of just what is necessary to get the work done. Try and add some social interaction each week. Join a group - it can be a support group, a book club, a sport - building in that social structure into your weekly/daily/monthly life can be a great way to overcome social anxiety. 

Be up to speed on current events, read about current events, having something to talk about can be a great asset in navigating social situations successfully, even with those you may not be close with like family and friends. Knowing what is happening in the world will help you keep a hold on the conversation without feeling out of place. 

Dressing in a way which makes you feel good will also help in interacting in social situations. Once you feel good about yourself, even in outward appearance- can give a boost of confidence and may ease a social situation. 

Make social interactions a priority on your to do list, make sure its at the top and it gets done. The more you do it, the more practice you get, the better you will become at it and the easier it will be. More is better in this instance. The more you practice, the more results you will yield which will become more incentive to continue improving social skills.

Building Confidence

"Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend." - Lao Tzu

We will be building upon last week's positive self talk onto this week's building confidence, as positive self is certainly a step towards building confidence! 

Perception is everything when it comes to building confidence. The way in which you view yourself has much to do with how others perceive you. Of course there are factors that are beyond control always, but there is much that is under your control and by getting in that driver's seat and taking control, you can certainly build greater self confidence. 

"As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 

The trick is to not let one set back keep you down, the more you keep pushing on, whether it is a failed test, lost job, or the end of a relationship, the idea is to keep pushing through, and moving forward. Allowing yourself "blunders" and letting yourself be human will not only build resilience within you but make you more confident along with it. The best way to learn is to try and to keep on trying until you do learn. The more you allow yourself to keep on trying and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, the easier it will become to face the next challenge with confidence.

Pulling from last week > be optimistic! Regardless of the situation, social, work, school, etc. being positive is a great force that has the power to change the way you see your outcomes. Try being optimistic the next time you face a personal challenge and see how if your outlook has an impact on the challenge and also how you perceive it. It doesn't cost a thing and it is another step in the direction of building confidence. 

“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” - Peter T. Mcintyre

Be prepared for it all. Pay attention to the small details, floss, get enough sleep, eat wholesome meals, dress in clothes that make you feel good - whatever your style maybe, get some exercise regularly - take a walk around the block, and be social - talk to your friends and family. Practicing self care can prepare you for building that confidence. 

Don't accept failure: the sky will not fall down, you will only gain experience by trying. You become stronger and your chances of succeeding increases. Get to know who you are and what you want out of life and the only way to do this is by trying and getting out of that comfort zone. It will build great confidence. 

"Low self-confidence isn't a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered--just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better." - Barrie Davenport

Get to know yourself better - go exploring, figure out what excites you and do it. Doing will help you figure out what you want out of life. It will build confidence, the more you do, the better you will get. As with everything, and as we have mentioned before, practice, practice and practice again. 

Be a superhero. Not in the crime fighting sense (unless that is your job!) - but pose, pose as a superhero for a few minutes in front of the mirror and see how it increases your self confidence, do it before a presentation or a meeting. This too will build confidence. 

Positive Self Talk

The self talk habit is one that is often solidified in childhood, whether positive, negative or a mix. Then over the years this - self talk - tends to color the way we live our day to day lives, from every event we experience to every decision we make. However, the good news is that we can change it anytime we want, and now is a better time than any to change and create a more positive self talk. Not only will having more positive self talk boost productivity but can also help with increased self-confidence and more stress relief. We will present a few strategies with which one can create more positive self talk in one's life.

First, you can begin with noticing the patterns: once you are more conscious of your internal dialogue, it will become much easier to navigate through the thoughts and alter them. 

One sure way of tracking such activity is by keeping a journal: you can carry a journal with you and make a note of self talk throughout the day, or write out a summary at the end of the day, whichever is preferable; journaling can surely provide great insight into the internal dialogue taking place daily to later analyze and make changes. 



Second, after you are aware of the internal dialogue, you can begin by changing the negative internal dialogue to a positive one. 

One method of accomplishing the above is by incorporating milder wording: in your self talk, replacing emotionally charged words with milder versions of them can help in neutralizing the feelings, for instance - instead of using words like 'hate' or 'angry' - you can use words like 'dislike' or 'annoyed'.

Another way of combating negative self talk is to change it to neutral or positive self talk: if you find yourself having a negative thought, for example - having plans cancelled last minute to something you were looking forward to can seem negative initially, but think of what you can do with the new free time you've gained. So, if a negative thought or event takes place that kicks off the negative self talk, attempt to think of a positive that combats the negative in that situation (and once you pause to think of them, they will be there).  

An additional method is to change self-limiting statements to questions: self-limited statements can be damaging to self-esteem and confidence and can also cause stress. Next time a thought that comes across your mind that may go something like the following: "I cannot do this!" and "This is impossible!" change it to "How can I do this?" and "How is this possible?" will turn it into a more hopeful situation and open up more possibilities, which in turn, can help in reducing stress and boosting confidence.

 Positive affirmations can be incredibly helpful solidifying a more positive internal dialogue. These positive affirmations can be desired outcomes and goals and short and focused. By repeating them and even reading them out loud with emotion will make it that much more powerful and can give way to a new set of beliefs, creating a more positive internal dialogue.

Focus on enjoyable moments: while challenges and difficult times are inevitable, the enjoyable moments come as well- and to hold onto those memories and thoughts and focusing on them can aide in creating a more positive outlook overall. You can choose to fill your mind with positive images, in fact, you can choose to do a fun project to make it a point to focus on the positive once, at least every day with the following - https://100happydays.com/

Lastly, practice, practice and more practice! The more you practice in changing the self talk to a more positive one, the better you will become at it, just like exercising any muscle of the body can make it stronger, changing the brain and mind act similarly and require practice!