I. Statements.

Communication with another person is simply an exchange of information, however, the nuances that go along with how that information is communicated is where most of us can get stumped, especially when it comes to communicating with loved ones- where most of our conversations are very much laced with a plethora of emotions, feelings and beliefs. The following are some ways to improve communication skills that can lead to healthier relationships.

Make the Time

Those in healthy relationships make the time to check in with each other, not only are respectful in their communication but also make sure that it takes place in the first place. No matter how busy our schedules get, we can always make the time to talk to our loved ones, even if requires getting scheduled into our long days.

I. Statements vs. Open Ended Questions
We have been taught from early on to utilize "I" statements when attempting to convey our thoughts clearly to another person, this is fantastic advise, and really gets our feelings out. It also aids in our communication being assertive in what we desire from the conversation. It is also great practice in assertiveness in general. In addition, however, we should also utilize open ended questions, such as..."how do you feel...?" "..tell me more." etc. to really understand and hear the person on the other end.

Listen Effectively not just Hear

Listening. Hearing. Two different things. We hear all the sounds and words when someone is speaking with us but are we actually listening? Listening effectively requires attention and patience (why can be very difficult to attain if the conversation is emotionally charged) and with both of these in sync, you can provide the person you are communicating with the space they may need to express themselves, which will lead to a better understanding of the issue at hand by you. This is also when some mindfulness skills can be really helpful.

Mutual Respect & Trust

Everything boils down to trust. Do you trust the person you are communicating with? Do you trust them enough to "hear them out" and listen to their entire side? Once the trust has been established, the remainder of the communication should fall into place, as long as the two people respect and care for one another.With respect, the care will follow and the communication will effectively take place. With respect, even if two people disagree on the topic at hand, there shouldn't be any long lasting hard feelings. With respect for oneself and for each other, the love and care will stay intact. 

For more reading on this topic: http://www.loveisrespect.org/healthy-relationships/
http://www.loveisrespect.org/healthy-relationships/communicate-better/
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/effective-communication.htm
http://www.wfm.noaa.gov/workplace/EffectivePresentation_Handout_1.pdf
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/healthy-relationships.aspx
https://trainingmag.com/content/8-tips-developing-positive-relationships
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/04/14/9-steps-to-better-communication-today/

Un-plugging: Benefits of a Digital Detox

Let's face it, technology is AMA-ZING! It is the very thing that is allowing me to even disseminate this information so widely and so very fast. However, as awesome as this is, it comes with its own concerns. One of them being our increasingly unhealthy attachment to our devices, apps and cyber social networks. So, for our own sake, a digital detox can really put it all in perspective and help our mental health, significantly. The following are a few ways to a take break from the screen and feel the difference: 

Un-plugging can help in alleviating feelings of jealously, inadequacy and loneliness: from body image to family/friend happiness, seeing everyone's curated social networks can increase the feelings of jealously, not realizing they are coming up for reasons that are not even real, but for a projected self others place online.

Lessening FOMO (fear of missing out): this new term that reflects our feelings of missing out on things that we are not a part of or were unable to attend for some reason. Finding happiness in our current state (after turning off the screen) is an act of mindfulness that can lessen the feelings of FOMO and aid in higher enjoyment of our own day to day activities.

Right before your eyes: life is happening right in front of us all the time, by covering our eyes with a screen, we place our minds in a virtual space and neglect our very surroundings. Turning off that screen, and looking forward, being present, and smelling the roses, so to speak, can be wondrous, even if you are only able to do it on your lunch break. Schedule these moments into your day if need be, they are totally worth it. There are a number of internet tools (ironically) to help in powering down, SelfControl will help in blocking access to whichever sites you ask it to (Facebook, G-mail, a blog, etc.) and allow access to the rest of the internet simultaneously and Freedom will block internet.

In addition, it maybe beneficial to power down completely for an extended period of time periodically. Whether its for a weekend, a week or several weeks, and see how you feel, what you learned about yourself and how your relationships changed. Feel the enrichment of your relationships. Evaluate for yourself the numerous benefits of un-plugging. 

For more on this topic:
http://healthland.time.com/2013/01/24/why-facebook-makes-you-feel-bad-about-yourself/
http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/is-fomo-depriving-us-of-our-ability-to-exist-in-the-present-and-take-pleasure-in-the-here-and-now-8449677.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/berkeley-wellness/what-are-the-health-benefits-of-unplugging_b_8917956.html